Vanessa Espino, MS, BA, LMFT
Women's Therapy & HealingOffering expert insights and tools for emotional healing and relationship patterns. Explore somatic tools, nervous system regulation, and polyvagal theory for anxious attachment and more.
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Somatic Therapist, SSP Facilitator
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 Have you ever found yourself caught in a cycle of anxious thoughts, questioning your worth every time a relationship doesn’t go as planned? If the fear of rejection and the desire for validation have taken over your love life, you're not alone. Many women struggle with anxious attachment, often attributing their worries to a fear of abandonment. But, the reality is that these feelings run much deeper and mix with how we interpret our experiences and value ourselves. In this post, we'll explore the complexities of anxious attachment, how it affects your relationships, and how a shift can empower your journey toward self-trust and clarity.
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 On the stage of love and affection, our past traumas often hold the leading role, dictating the steps we take in our present relationships. The disapproval we experienced as a child remains as a persistent undercurrent, shaping the contours of our romantic lives, leaving us trapped in an endlessly painful cycle of seeking validation and fearing rejection.
In this short blog post, I introduce you to "Clarissa," a client whose journey mirrors the struggles of many women who are navigating the complicated labyrinth of love and approval. Clarissa was raised within a family culture of conditional love and constant scrutiny. As a result, her fear of disapproval permeated every facet of her romantic adult relationships, driving her to desperate lengths to avoid criticism and seek approval. As I unravel Clarissa's story, we uncover the profound impact of childhood wounds on adult attachments. Let's now delve into the realities of childhood trauma and explore how somatic healing offers a beacon of hope for women seeking liberation from the hurt of their past.  "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is the fear of the unknown." — H.P. Lovecraft Anxious attachment, with its constant need for reassurance and fear of separation, can make the idea of impermanence in relationships feel like a looming threat. But what if we could see impermanence not as a sign of impending loss but as an invitation to embrace the present and the constant changes that life brings to us?
 Have you been under the influence of your anxious attachment? I refer to it as "under the influence" because, in a way, that is precisely what is happening. When your anxious attachment gets triggered or activated, you are no longer in a clear, confident, and intuitive mind-space. You have now entered the mind-space of feeling fearful, jealous, insecure, clingy, and needing all the reassurance you can get! |
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June 2025
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