The Influence of Anxious Attachment: Understanding Our Nervous Systems

Have you been under the influence of your anxious attachment? I refer to it as "under the influence" because, in a way, that is precisely what is happening. When your anxious attachment gets triggered or activated, you are no longer in a clear, confident, and intuitive mind-space. You have now entered the mind-space of feeling fearful, jealous, insecure, clingy, and needing all the reassurance you can get!  

Anxious attachment is more than just a label; it's a nervous system survival state. As you know, your body (nervous system) functions to protect you from danger and threat, and your brain helps protect you from pain. When we're anxiously attached, we're not merely operating from our rational prefrontal cortex. Instead, we find ourselves under the sway of our other nervous system states, often triggered into survival mode by various triggers that activate our attachment system. This shift can make us feel jealous, insecure, clingy, and constantly need reassurance from our partners.

However, it's crucial to recognize that these behaviors aren't inherently negative. They are survival mechanisms deeply ingrained within us, originating from past experiences and attachment patterns. In the face of perceived threats to our emotional security, our anxious attachment prompts us to cling to what we know, seeking comfort and safety in the familiar embrace of our partners. This means that your nervous system works for you to protect you from the possible emotional threat of disconnection from your partner. Your system will do anything to prevent rejection or abandonment from happening if it perceives that there is a possibility of it happening. 

By acknowledging this perspective, we can reframe our understanding of anxious attachment. Rather than viewing it as a flaw or weakness, we recognize it as a testament to our innate resilience and adaptability. Though sometimes challenging, these behaviours serve a purpose: to help us navigate the complexities of human connection and foster meaningful relationships.

So, how do we begin to shift into a more "sober" and secure state than staying "under the influence" of our attachments? One effective approach is to gain a deeper understanding of our nervous systems. By learning to recognize the signs of activation and understanding how our bodies respond to stress, we empower ourselves to take control of our emotional well-being.

Enter the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), a powerful tool I offer as a somatic coach and therapist. The SSP works by stimulating the vagus nerve, a key player in regulating our autonomic nervous system. Through specially designed auditory music, the SSP helps to promote regulation, grounding, relaxation, restoring balance to our nervous systems, and reducing symptoms of anxiety and hyperarousal.

By incorporating practices like the SSP as part of our somatic healing journey, we can begin to cultivate greater resilience and emotional stability. Rather than being under the influence of our anxious attachment, we can reclaim agency over our lives and relationships, fostering healthier and more secure patterns of connection and intimacy.

The influence of anxious attachment extends far beyond surface-level behaviors. It penetrates deep into our psyche and nervous systems, shaping our perceptions, emotions, and interactions with others. By embracing this understanding and taking proactive steps to regulate our nervous systems, we can embark on a journey of healing and transformation.

If you're ready to explore the transformative possibilities of the Safe and Sound Protocol, I would love to support you. Click here to learn more about my Safe & Sound Protocol facilitation and take the first step towards reclaiming control over your emotional well-being.