From Feminine Anxiety
​to Feminine Attraction
One-on-One
Personal Coaching 

The Attraction Standard is a 16-week private anxious attachment coaching program for self-aware women with relationship anxiety who are ready to stop spiraling, overgiving, second-guessing themselves, and losing themselves in love.
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You’re smart, self-aware, maybe even the one everyone comes to for advice.
But in love? You spiral.

You overthink texts. You analyze tone.
You feel the urge to fix the energy when they seem distant or off.

You know you shouldn’t need constant reassurance, but your body doesn’t seem to care.
The anxiety hits, and suddenly everything feels personal. Fragile. Urgent.
And if you tap into yourself, you can see that you are exhausted from trying to hold it all together.

If you feel confused in your relationships, it's not because you’re weak.
It's because you’re caught in a pattern — one you didn’t choose, but one that keeps choosing you.

That pattern has a name and it’s the emotional blueprint behind who you’re drawn to, why rejection hits so hard, and why even the most self-aware version of you keeps falling into the same dynamic.
I call it your Attraction Pattern Imprint and it is specific to you.
Recognizing Your Attraction Pattern Imprint

​Once you see your Attraction Pattern Imprint clearly, everything begins to change.

You don’t just show up differently in love, you start making different choices, setting new boundaries, and showing others what real self-trust looks like.

Women who do this work with me report back that the positive shifts extend far beyond their own relationship, they find themselves modeling new standards for friends, family, and their children.

That’s how a single shift in you can start to reshape what love means, not only for yourself, but for everyone who’s influenced by your courage.

You’re not just breaking the cycle for yourself.
You’re showing what’s possible for every woman watching you step forward.

Once your pattern is uncovered, everything begins to shift!​
And that’s what this work is here to do.
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Can You Relate?

💔 Do you often find yourself worrying about your partner's love and commitment?

💔 Have you ever felt like you're not enough, no matter how much you give or do?

💔 Are you afraid of being alone, so you stay in unhealthy relationships?

💔 Perhaps you hide your true self to avoid rejection or criticism from your partner?
Why This Isn’t Just Another Relationship Coaching Program
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Anxious women try to “think their way” or "force their way" into feeling secure.
They read the books. Do the journaling. Stay “chill” when they want to reach out.
But that kind of surface-level work doesn’t last long because it doesn’t address the cause.

I know this. I understand because I've been there. That's why I don’t start with advice.
I start with the emotional pattern underneath it all.

This is where we begin using your Attraction Pattern Imprint — the unique way your nervous system and subconscious have learned to attach, protect, and seek love.


CASE #1: Meet Sara, "The Seeker"
☹ THE PROBLEM: Sara finds herself caught in a cycle of seeking validation and reassurance from her partner, Alex. Whenever Alex is unavailable or distant, Sara's anxiety skyrockets, and she bombards him with messages and calls, desperate for connection. Despite Alex's reassurances, Sara's fear of abandonment persists, leaving her feeling insecure and unfulfilled in the relationship.
☺ THE TRANSFORMATION: Sara experiences a painful breakup with Alex, triggering intense feelings of abandonment and worthlessness. Through our 12-week journey together, Sara learns to validate herself, cultivate self-love, change subconscious beliefs, and trust that she is enough on her own. Sara emerges as a confident, empowered woman, ready to attract a partner who cherishes her for who she truly is.

CASE #2: Meet Olivia, "The Nurturer"
☹ THE PROBLEM: Olivia pours all her energy into caring for her partner, Ryan, neglecting her own needs and desires in the process. She sacrifices her own well-being to ensure Ryan's happiness, often feeling resentful and exhausted. Maya struggles to assert herself or set boundaries, fearing that doing so will jeopardize their relationship.

☺ THE TRANSFORMATION: Olivia musters the courage to set boundaries with Ryan, prioritizing her own needs and well-being. Though initially fearful of his reaction, Olivia discovers that Ryan respects her newfound assertiveness and values her authenticity. Their relationship deepens as Olivia learns to love herself first, transforming co-dependency into interdependence.

CASE #3: Meet Emily, "The Perfectionist"
☹ THE PROBLEM: Emily hides her true self behind a facade of perfectionism, fearing that revealing her vulnerabilities will lead to rejection from her partner, Chris. She meticulously crafts her outward appearance and behavior to meet Chris's expectations, sacrificing her authenticity in the process. Emily's fear of criticism and abandonment keeps her trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and insecurity.
☺ THE TRANSFORMATION: Emily embarks on a journey of self-discovery, embracing her imperfections and vulnerabilities. She learns to communicate openly and honestly with Chris, fostering a deeper connection built on trust and authenticity. Emily no longer fears rejection, knowing that she is worthy of love, with or without a partner by her side.
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The Secure Attraction Process

This is not a generic method.

This is a 4-step framework designed to rewire how you relate to love at the nervous system, subconscious, and intuitive level. And it’s built around your unique Attraction Pattern Imprint — the emotional pattern shaped by your deepest wound in love and what you subconsciously link with chemistry, safety, and connection.

With me as your guide, you will learn how to feel the differences so you don’t second-guess your intuition or stay in something that you know doesn’t feel right.

You’ve probably asked yourself: “Is this anxiety or is something really off?”

I work directly with your specific imprint so you can finally stop feeling hijacked by fear in real moments of connection.

​This is genuine transformation.  You’ll begin to feel the difference between panic and truth. Between overreaction and clarity. Between anxiety and your deepest intuition.  You will learn to trust your intuition.

​I understand these attraction patterns all too well.

I've walked in your shoes, carrying relationship wounds such as being cheated on, experiencing emotional infidelity, coping with the death of a partner, surviving intimate partner violence, and even self-sabotaging healthy relationships.

Not connecting with the power of subconscious healing tools, I found myself trapped in an exhausting and painful cycle of anxiety and attachment.

​Except my journey took a turn.

It turned and shifted when I discovered a new way, when I had help learning about my specific nervous system and my patterns.  It shifted when I learned how to leverage these new understandings to regulate my emotions. I learned how to heal my attachment wounds and how to do this for others.  Now, I am no longer afraid of impermanence. I've learned to let go of unhealthy attachment in my relationships, attachments that didn't serve me. Now, when things show up, I can process them quickly and not stay stuck. I feel grounded and secure, listening to and trusting my intuition. And having been there,  having learned that, I can help you do the same.
What You’ll Experience in My Coaching Program
Your journey starts by integrating your astrological birth chart and personal story, so our work together is precisely tailored from day one. Combined with the Secure Attraction Process and our ongoing sessions, this gives us a uniquely precise foundation for understanding and shifting the patterns shaping your experience in love.​
The 4 Keys to Unlock the Love You Want
​Without Losing Yourself
Key 1 🔑Embodied Safety
Build nervous system capacity and emotional regulation for anxious attachment patterns.

Through polyvagal-informed and somatic depth work, you learn how to self-attune and emotionally regulate when relationship anxiety shows up in your body — the tight chest, urgency to text, scanning for tone shifts, over-explaining, shutting down, or reaching for reassurance.

Capacity means your system becomes less easily overwhelmed by stress, uncertainty, distance, conflict, or closeness when there is not an immediate threat.

Flexibility means your system can move out of survival states more easily, instead of getting stuck in panic, protest, over-functioning, or the need to fix the connection.

This is not about forcing yourself to be calm. It is about building the ability to feel what is happening inside you without losing yourself to it. When your body has more capacity and is regulated, you can respond in love with more choice instead of letting the trigger decide what happens next.
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Key 2 🔑 The Subconscious Attraction Pattern​
Identify your subconscious attraction pattern underneath your anxious attachment.

In this Key, we use psychological astrology as a depth-mapping tool. Your astrological birth chart helps reveal the relational themes, attraction patterns, fears, and protective responses in love that are specific to you.

Together with your lived relationship experiences, this reveals what I call your Attraction Pattern Imprint, the subconscious pattern behind why certain people feel magnetic, why similar relationship dynamics keep repeating, and what your body has learned to expect in love.

Once we identify the imprint, we use Accelerated Resolution Therapy® and other neuro-science and evidence-informed subconscious methods to reduce the emotional charge behind relationship experiences that keep the pattern active — moments of rejection, inconsistency, abandonment, betrayal, emotional withdrawal, conflict, or feeling like you had to earn love.

This work is informed by memory reconsolidation, the brain’s process for updating old emotional responses at the source,  so attraction no longer has to keep pulling you back into the same fear, urgency, or self-abandoning choices.

Key 3 🔑 Intuitive Discernment
Stop second-guessing yourself in love and know the difference between anxiety or intuition.

In this Key, we strengthen your ability to recognize your yes, no, wait, and “something feels off” responses in love.

Every woman accesses clarity differently. Some women know through the body, some need time before they know, and some feel pressure when they are trying to force an answer too quickly.

I also use a personalized decision-making map to understand how you access clarity, how quickly your system knows, and what tends to interfere with your discernment.

By this point in the process, you have already started building self-attunement through the nervous system and somatic work in Key 1. Because I specialize in somatic work, I support you in refining those body-based cues, so you can better tell the difference between relationship anxiety, urgency, attraction, pressure, and real clarity.
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When you cannot tell whether it is anxiety or intuition, love can become mentally exhausting. You may overthink every shift, seek reassurance, ignore real concerns, or question something healthy because your body does not yet feel certain. This Key helps you build the discernment to trust what is true for you, so your decisions are less driven by fear, fantasy, or someone else’s opinion.
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Key 4 🔑 Secure Standards
Build relationship standards and boundaries you can actually hold.

Standards are how your values become visible in love.

They shape who has access to your time, energy, emotional world, intimacy, care, and attention. They are the criteria you use to choose, communicate, pause, repair, ask for more, stay, or leave when attraction, fear, hope, or attachment gets activated.

Most women already know what they want on paper. The deeper work is being able to hold those standards in real time, especially when you feel pulled to over-function, fix, explain something away, wait too long, or give emotional access to someone who has not shown the consistency to hold it well.

In this Key, we use your psychological astrology chart to reveal the standards that are unique and specific to you, alongside the standards you already know you want to hold. Your astrological chart gives us a personalized map of the consistency, emotional access, pacing, communication, and relational integrity that supports your emotional security in love.

We also work on implementing those standards in real relationship moments, so they become something you can communicate, embody, and choose from.
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To a grounded partner, standards communicate clarity, emotional maturity, and the consistency required to stay close to you. This Key helps you become more confident and magnetic from within, so you can protect healthy love, leave what is not aligned, and choose from clarity instead of fear.
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This Is Deeper Than Relationship Advice
Transformation Happens Between Our Sessions
The Attraction Standard gives you a 16-week foundation for working with anxious attachment, emotional regulation, subconscious relationship patterns, trusting your intuition, and standards.

Inside our sessions, we identify the pattern, work with the emotional charge underneath it, and create a strategy for how you begin showing up differently in real relationship moments.

This is where strategy comes in. As an anxious attachment strategist and coach, I help you see how the pattern is showing up in your dating life, relationship, or current partnership, and how to respond with more emotional regulation, clarity, and self-trust.

For many women, the 16 weeks becomes the beginning of deeper work. Some clients choose to continue after the program to keep integrating the patterns and strengthening a more secure way of relating as their relationships and life continue to evolve.

What Happens If Nothing Changes?

💔 You keep rereading the messages.
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💔 You keep wondering if you pushed too hard or if it’s all in your head.

💔 You try to “act secure” while your body screams for answers.

💔 You keep managing the relationship just to feel like it won’t slip away.

And even when it’s over, you wonder:

💔 ​Was it me? Did I ask for too much? Why does this keep happening?

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​​What If Next Time…

💖 ​You didn’t panic when he pulled away.

💖 You didn’t spiral when things felt unclear.

💖 You didn’t need to over-explain or perform to feel safe.

💖 You knew how to come back to yourself without needing someone else to calm you down.

💖 You could trust what you feel.

💖 And you had the confidence to securely walk away from anything that doesn’t feel right — without fear, without guilt, and without questioning your worth.

THAT WOULD BE A TOTAL SHIFT, RIGHT?
That’s what we build inside The Attraction Standard.
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​Reading this is only the beginning.

Your anxious attachment doesn't have to keep shaping who you choose, what you tolerate, or how much of yourself you lose in love. 

4 Month Package Details
Contents & Pricing

Work directly with Vanessa Espino, MS, BA, LMFT
  • 4 Months (16 sessions) of LIVE One-on-One Zoom sessions, each lasting 60-75 minutes.
  • Session recordings available by request.
  • Includes 90-minute session focused on deep subconscious work to transform old limiting beliefs affecting your relationship and love and shifting your mind’s perception towards a secure and healthy attachment.
  • Several Accelerated Resolution Therapy® sessions. We use ART® throughout the program to work with the emotional charge behind relationship triggers, old attachment patterns, and the subconscious material that keeps the same dynamics repeating.
  • Safe and Sound Protocol™ 10-day listening therapy (click for more information on this clinically-tested nervous system music therapy for emotional regulation that elevates your body’s ability to regulate stress and reduce reactivity, so you can stay grounded during the very moments that used to feel overwhelming).
  • Psychological astrology inside the process. Your astrological birth chart is used as a personalized map to identify relational patterns, attraction themes, emotional needs, standards, and the deeper imprint shaping your experience of love.
  • Human Design-informed decision-making guidance. Used in a grounded, focused way to understand how you access clarity, how quickly your system knows, and what can interfere with your discernment in love.
  • Personalized between-session support. You may receive reflection prompts, integration practices, somatic exercises, or homework when it supports the work we are doing together.
  • Discounted rates for continued sessions beyond our four-month program together, ensuring the possibility of your continued support, development, and progress.
  • Voxer text and voice messaging support in between sessions, for quick questions, support, and updates.
The Investment You Are Making in Yourself

$3800 USD
or the €EUR/₤GBP Equivalent
(payment plans available)

Take the first step toward changing the anxious attachment patterns that keep you overthinking, overgiving, second-guessing yourself, and losing yourself in love.

Your investment in The Attraction Standard is an investment in the woman you are beneath the anxious attachment pattern — the part of you that is confident, naturally attractive for who she is, clear in what she wants, able to hold her standards, and no longer giving so much of her time, energy, and emotional world to dynamics that pull her away from herself.
What You Will Leave With

✔ A clear understanding of your Attraction Pattern Imprint -- what’s been driving your anxiety in love.
 ✔ A coaching process that works with your nervous system, subconscious, and intuitive design, including your Human Design™ and the Safe and Sound Protocol™ which is a clinically-tested auditory tool that supports your body’s ability to regulate stress and reduce reactivity.
 ✔ Tools and practices you’ll actually be able to remember and use when the panic hits.
 ✔ Weekly guidance that doesn’t just tell you what to do but explains how it works and why it matters.
 ✔ Clarity to stop chasing, proving, or fixing, and finally choose what feels right for you.

This isn’t where you fix yourself.
It’s where you stop abandoning yourself.
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This is where pain ends and real life begins.

Who I Work With

My coaching is for women who are:
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  • Ready to do the inner work and commit to personal growth.
  • Open to being guided and enjoy learning new tools for transformation.
  • Willing to challenge old patterns and embrace new ways of relating.
  • Believers in the possibility of good, supportive men and healthy, secure relationships.
  • And most importantly, my program is designed for women who are able to embrace the unpredictable nature of relationships. You’ll learn that security doesn’t come from another person but from within yourself. When you feel calm, confident, and grounded in who you are, the fear of abandonment or rejection fades because anxious attachment will no longer define how you show up in your relationships.

If you’re not comfortable providing your birth information or exploring non-traditional frameworks for understanding your patterns, this program isn’t for you. I cannot work with women who are not open-minded and ready to approach real change.
Ready to Elevate in Life, Love, and Romance?

Your path to secure, fulfilling relationships begins here. Together, we’ll create a space where you feel seen, supported, and empowered to create the love life you desire.

Click here to schedule your free discovery call and take the first step toward transforming your love life.


This isn't just a program — it's a journey of empowerment, growth, and transformation. Are you ready to reclaim your power, trust your intuition, and embrace the path to healing and fulfillment?

Join me on this transformative 4-month powerful experience and discover the limitless possibilities that await you.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What's the difference between my coaching and traditional talk therapy?

My coaching delves into the mind-body connection, focusing on how our physical sensations and experiences shape our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which may primarily explore and expand past traumas and psychological disorders, my coaching is future-oriented, action-driven, solution-focused. In this program, we utilize somatic techniques, Human Design™, Safe and Sound Protocol™, multi-level communication, deep-mind programming, and other transformational modalities to help you finally overcome anxious attachment and codependent patterns,  not just for today, but for the rest of your life — empowering you to experience and enjoy genuinely fulfilling and loving relationships.

Who is this program for?

This program is tailored for successful and professional women who excel in their careers but find themselves struggling in matters of the heart due to anxious attachment and codependent patterns. It's for women who are open to being guided, enjoy learning about their nervous system, and are willing to do deep subconscious work to change their limiting beliefs about love and themselves. If you're someone who welcomes new intuitive insights and is receptive to guidance and advice, this program is designed for you.

Who is this program not for?

This program is not suitable for individuals who do not appreciate guidance, coaching, or learning. It's not for those who resist being advised or taught, as my approach is rooted in guiding clients towards self-discovery and empowerment. I work most effectively with clients who are open to receiving guidance, eager to explore the intricacies of their nervous system, and committed to taking an active role in their healing journey. If you're hesitant to embrace new insights or resist being led by a coach, this program may not align with your preferences and goals.

Is This Really Worth the Investment?

Yes.  The alternative is that you’d spend over a year in weekly therapy to match what’s delivered in this 4-month coaching experience. This isn’t traditional therapy. This is focused, deep work to shift the subconscious patterns that keep you anxious, over-functioning, or pulling away from healthy love even when it's available. We’re not just talking about your anxiety; we’re changing the emotional blueprint that has been running the show. This is the work that helps you stop sabotaging the very kind of love you say you want because it stops feeling unfamiliar or unsafe.

The real cost isn’t the price of coaching. It’s the emotional toll of staying stuck in patterns that drain your joy, your time, and your self-worth. You weren’t meant to spend your life figuring out mixed signals, questioning your intuition, or managing every relationship moment-to-moment. And while you wait for clarity to arrive on its own... Life is moving forward.
Your nervous system, your heart, your peace, they deserve better now, not later. This isn’t about fixing you. It’s about creating the inner safety to respond to love from grounded self-trust, instead of panic, proving, or overthinking.

What Makes Your Coaching Different?

I’ve been where you are. I know what it’s like to lose love, not just through betrayal, but through death.
I’ve been cheated on. I’ve also held the grief of losing a partner too soon. So when I say I understand deep loss, anxious spirals, and the fear of trusting again - I mean it. Not just as a professional, but as a woman who has lived the fear of rejection, the confusion when healthy love feels unfamiliar, and the exhausting cycle of trying to prove I was “enough.” I didn’t just study this work. I searched for what actually works - through somatic healing, subconscious reprogramming, nervous system tools, and intuitive design like Human Design. I took the long road so you don’t have to. I’ve spent years doing the deep, exhausting work - trying the therapies, researching the methods, and learning what actually creates real, lasting change. So you don’t have to waste your time figuring it out alone. I’ve done that part for you.  What I offer isn’t surface-level advice, generalized therapy, or one-size-fits-all coaching. It’s the integration of what actually creates lasting shifts. Other coaches might give you strategies. Therapists might give you insight. But here, you’ll walk away with something deeper:
  • A grounded ability to feel safe and secure in your own body.
  • Clarity that no longer collapses in the presence of distance or uncertainty, because you will know how to listen to your intuition.
  • ​A pattern shift that doesn’t just change your love life, it changes your self-trust.

I don’t coach from theory. I coach from transformation. And I’ll walk with you through the exact process that rewired mine.

When can I expect to see results?

Every woman’s timeline is unique, but the moment you begin, you’re no longer stuck in spirals, second-guessing, or doing it alone. You’ll likely notice early shifts in how you respond, how you interpret distance, and how anchored you feel in yourself. But this isn’t passive. I hold the intention for your healing, but you have to meet it with presence, practice, and personal responsibility. You’re not being “coached at”, you’re being led into transformation.  You won’t be doing this alone. I hold the intention with you every step of the way. But the shift begins when you meet that intention with your presence, your honesty, and your willingness to try something new. That’s when the work starts working.
This 4-month journey is a profound starting point, not a surface fix. We’re rewiring the roots of your patterns through your nervous system, subconscious beliefs, and emotional body. Healing unfolds gradually, but the shifts are deep, and they change how you show up in love from the inside out.
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Is there a refund policy?

No, because I firmly believe in the transformative power of this journey and am committed to supporting you every step of the way. Your investment in this program is an investment in yourself and your future, and I'm dedicated to ensuring that you receive the guidance and support needed to create lasting change in your life.

Tana Vanessa Espino, this website, any web links, its contents, and any linked material are presented for informational purposes only and are not a substitute for personal advice, therapy and mental health expertise, the diagnosis, treatment, or prescribing of relationships and mental health issues. Nothing contained in or accessible from this website or blog should be considered to be a diagnosis, treatment, or prescribing, or a promise of benefits, legal warranty, or guarantee of results to be achieved.
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